We see you. We know the pain. 

Maybe it is fresh and you feel destroyed Inside, maybe you have some months or years behind your discovery day, but still need a little support. 

We know the devastation you are holding. The weight Is breath-taking.  You feel crushed under the pain, the fear, and the choices. You feel completely alone, broken, insecure, angry, depressed. 

Maybe you have found your face meeting the carpet in sorrow or disbelief. You feel like you are scrambling. How did this happen? Can this be saved, do I want It to be? Do they?

"Will I ever know myself before this destruction took my life as I knew It? I cannot focus, the triggers, the nightmares, the Intrusive thinking.. where do I go from here?"

I was you. I am so sorry for your pain. It was not your fault. You are worthy of love. 

Of course there are different circumstances, different reasons, different choices to be made, but I want you to know that you are not alone. You may have a wonderful support system, and that Is beautiful. If not, please know you have options for support here, If you should want that. 

Don't battle alone. Don't make rash decisions. Care for yourself. Let your support come from the ones who will encourage you to make the decisions that best suit your heart and future, not your current hurting emotions and not their outrage for you.

Remember that you have to live with the choices that come from this situation, so be sure to weigh them carefully. Take your time, let your shock subside. Most Importantly, don't give In to the sorrow, the anger or the hopelessness.

You are needed. You have not failed. You can be secure. You are loved. You can find wholeness again. 

Again, this Is not your fault.

We are here If you need a friend or support...

"How did I get here?" you may ask. Are you hurting? Have you awakened to your actions? Have they resonated yet?

Often times, this realization Is like layers of an onion, unfolding as the truth finds Its way to the surface, and It Is not the most pleasant aroma to fill the air. Many times Its' a jolt of waking for the first time In a long time, and then sometimes It was a discovery that was never meant to be found, and also one that you never thought you'd find yourself In.

The easiest thing you could do is run, ignore, keep participating in the escape or the numbing of yourself and your own pain. 

OR

You could stand. See yourself among the rubble of what has been created and choose to hold yourself accountable for the pain around you. And there Is pain. But maybe you're In pain too. 

Yes, your pain matters. Maybe that is what led you to this place. Your choices to numb matter. They matter because there Is a need for wholeness within you. There Is a need for peace within you. You crave peace, because If you didn't, you wouldn't be seeking escape.

Sometimes we run from what we don't even know we are running from. We look for escape from what we don't even realize Is weighing on us. Stepping into the ability to recognize why you do what you do Is key to understanding how you ended up where you are.

You didn't get here overnight. But you can choose a better way. You can heal, and discover your true identity, and what you were made for. Then you will never settle for anything that will cause you to pursue anything other that excellence In all that you do. 

Maybe you don't think you are worth that, but you are. You may feel like you could never get It right, but you can. 

You can be whole, even If you don't think you are broken. 

We'd love to help.

Can this be fixed? Are we too far gone?

Truthfully, the answer to this question is as unique as the marriage you are in with your spouse, and as unique as your circumstances that you have found yourselves In. 

In the wake of the trauma of Infidelity, it can feel like a fog has settled right in front of your faces. It can feel as if it will never leave. This is the place where many make rash decisions, some that leave behind regret. Those decisions are often made In the midst of raw emotion, instead of a more clear head with a better look at all of the pieces you are left holding. The largest multi-piece jigsaw puzzle you could ever attempt to put together, this Is Infidelity. HOWEVER, It can be done.. we are proof. 

There does need to be a time of examination. 

Where are we ? How did we get here ? Why did this happen ?What were the contributors to finding ourselves In this situation ?

So many questions will come In the midst of discovery and In the days and months after. Taking time to unfold and understanding the why's, and how to move forward from the circumstances is VITAL. 

In all honesty, navigating through Infidelity should not be done alone. An outside, reliable and unbiased perspective or counselor should help you with the waves of emotion and decisions you are moving through.

At Altar Your Marriage, we do offer post infidelity coaching. We are NOT licensed counselors or therapist, but we do have personal experience and an understanding of the pain this can bring. 

You may need someone to walk with you through this process, to ask the question that need answering. Whether you choose to stay or move forward In your healing without your spouse, support Is so very Important.

Statistics show that marriages CAN heal after Infidelity, and often come out stronger In spite of It. I know you may wonder how!!??

We do encourage couples to weigh the options of healing together, before calling quits, but also understand that this Is an Individual choice, and every story Is different.

Walking through healing is not for the weak, but it is possible with support and the power of God that can heal anything, even the things we believe are beyond repair.

We are here for support either way.